Break Your Pedestals
by y-ye
Summary: [UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP] Tsuna watches him peel into an apple, skinning it effortlessly, and sink the knife into the flesh with a thunk against the wood of the table. With a light tone, he talked of how he's taken care of everything; the clothes are in the wash, food was ordered in but here's an apple just in case Tsuna gets hungry, and those pesky girls aren't a problem anymore.


Coming to Italy after he'd finished middle school had been Tsuna's blessing from on high. Sometimes Italian rolled off his tongue with all the familiarity of a past life he might have lived here, centuries ago. His father laughs off the accent he has that is less Japanese and more like the older accents. Tsuna tries to shrug it off as well. A coincidence.

Here, he is bombarded by words like 'cute' or 'sweet' where he'd used to be called 'annoying' or 'clumsy'. These people, they touch, the tug, they fix his clothing for him, they ruffle his hair after they call him cute, they feed him heavy dishes with cheese, pasta, fish, meats, tomatoes, and spices he'd never eaten before. His world is suddenly so much louder, crowded, alive like it never was.

The girls at school treat him like an accessory. They insist on carrying things for him, helping him with his homework, bringing him lunch with new foods he'd never dared to try on his own. They hand him sweets in white takeout containers. He cries about it sometimes, how it's so different, how he doesn't know what he'd done to deserve any of this.

He's heard them call him 'exotic' and 'beautiful' sometimes when they think he can't hear. It must be the hair. Still, he's glad of his features when they make him feel wanted here. Maybe here he'll grow out of being Dame before they leave him.

"Zuu-na," That's how they say his name here, and he turns around to see Mila, Donia, and Poeta. Poeta had actually been the first to approach him when he'd come here, still stumbling over how to ask for directions. Donia had been beside her, just listening for a bit, and Mila had come running over because she'd just made it inside the school before the gates closed. He felt some fondness for them now, after a few weeks of settling in. "Zuu-na, I have your lunch today!" Ah, how nice of Mila. It was a shame they didn't share any classes before noon.

"Thank you," he says obediently, reaching to take the lunchbox from her, only to have his bag stripped from him and the lunch held just out of his reach. "Ah... Would you like to eat with me?"

"Of course we would!"

"Eating with someone as cute as Zuu-na would be great!"

"Don't even think about asking for your bag back until we have to head back to class!"

"Oi, keep it down! What do you girls even seen in a guy as scrawny as Zuu-na?"

"Yeah, just look at him- having you carry his things!"

There are still people who don't like him, even here. But it's because of the positive attention from the girls, not because he's worthless. That's easier to deal with somehow. They're just jealous of the fact he was somewhat popular. He'd been that way, once. He just hadn't said things like that aloud. Never again.

Eyes drifting after them, he inhaled sharply when they bumped harshly into another boy and don't even look at him as he, his papers, and the book in his grasp tumbled to the floor.

...Well, maybe it was more accurate to say he didn't want to be like that guy again. Quiet as a ghost, unnoticed by most, and forced to find an outlet in whatever he could find be it a tv show or a book. Part of his heart ached as he watched the boy adjusted his glasses- the frames were huge- and he started to gather everything up.

Glancing back at the girls, they nodded and went on. He'd meet them at the table in just a minute. For now...

"It wouldn't be wrong to complain when they do that, you know." Tsuna said quietly, offering the book to the boy's mildly surprised expression. "Books are nice, but you can't talk to friends while you're reading one." The boy took the book back with an easy grin.

"How can that be true when you always talk to me, Tsuna?" A playful tone with flawless Japanese. This was, admittedly, half the reason Tsuna went out of his way to talk to Byakuran. He spoke Tsuna's mother tongue easily and never slurred his name. It was wonderful, not to have to think so much before he spoke.

"I'm just one person, Byakuran." Switching back to his mother tongue felt good. Handing back another book, he blinked in surprise at the title. "Oh- This has already made it to volume seven? I haven't read this since middle school. If you like this one, then-" Looking up, he flushed when he noticed Byakuran's sharp gaze. "Eh-heh..."

"Go on, Tsuna." Byakuran covers his mouth with a book, and Tsuna can't tell what expression he's making as he looks over his glasses intensely. "It'd be nice to know what you like. Please tell me more about you, Tsuna~" Flush deepening, he fidgeted and tried to focus on something else.

Staring at Byakuran's face, he notices something off with the way the glasses look. Before he can stop himself, he's reaching out, plucking the frames off Byakuran's face and staring at his eyes. Something about the frames has contorted his face into something more plain, but without them-

'Was he always so... handsome?'

"Wow," Tsuna breathes, leaning in and gawking. Byakuran blinks at him, unflinchingly patient but somewhat amused. "Are your glasses fake?"

"Yeah," The way he says it is too short to be a drawl but just long enough to make Tsuna's gaze darts towards his lips. "Why?"

"It's just- you look so cool without them." Somewhere along the way Tsuna's hands had wandered to cup Byakuran's face, thumbs gliding on his cheekbones. When he realized and automatically started to pull away, Byakuran leaned into his touch, hands grasping Tsuna's wrists and holding him there. "N-not that you don't usually! But if you ditched your glasses, and kept your head up, you'd be popular in no time!"

"Hmm. I thought that would happen," Here, Tsuna blankly repeated the thought in his head, shock keeping him still as Byakuran gently pushed his hands away from his face. "But... Well, since you're to one saying that, maybe I should put in some effort. There's something I want no matter what, after all!"

Byakuran gathers up his things and leaves Tsuna there, confused, wondering what he'd just done.

o~o~o

"Who's that?!"

"Isn't that Byakuran-?"

"It is, isn't it!"

"There wasn't a guy like that in our class yesterday-"

"The white hair in undeniable, that has to be Byakuran!"

These remarks followed Byakuran around the next day in school and, since Tsuna was in the same classes for the most part, he heard them all. The change was slight- hair mussed in a more purposeful way, glasses no where in sight, books hidden away... Not to mention his newly discovered athletic prowess. On top of his already well known smarts, this made him the ideal man.

"Don't you think Byakuran is just so... cool now?"

"Yeah, yeah! I mean, he's a little creepy, but it just adds to his character!"

"Maybe if we ask, he'll tutor us?"

"It's worth a shot."

This had been Tsuna's miscalculation. When Byakuran became popular Tsuna was bound to be left in the dust. He had nothing to compare to that level of perfection- hell, he hadn't even known what he'd done to gain the attention the first time.

Was that it? Was his moment of kindness to Byakuran paving the way to the end of his brief social power? Was there really only room for onepopular guy...?

Peeking into the classroom, he regarded the girls swarmed around Byakuran's desk tiredly. So many were faces he recognized from having them insist on feeding him, on carrying his bags, on walking him back. Even Mila, Donia, and Poeta were there, eyes bright as they chattered at Byakuran.

Should he think badly of Byakuran?

"It's because you got carried away, stupid. All you have is your looks. How long did you think you could stay on top?"

...It was one of the boys from yesterday, smirk triumphant from a battle he hadn't won. Hands shaking as he watch the nameless boy turn his back and walk off, Tsuna couldn't help but agree.

That didn't mean he didn't hate it. Still, he was fine. It was all... fine. Expected, even.

Turning in the opposite direction, Tsuna hurried off with his head lowered. Perhaps if he'd bothered to look back in the classroom, he'd have realized Byakuran's calculating eyes followed him as far as they could.

o~o~o

Wind rolls the fabric of Tsuna's gym clothes as he sits on the roof, gaze vacant as he stared at his feet. He hadn't brought lunch again today, hopeful somewhere in his heart that at least one of them would remember he exists. It's been three days in a row now, and each new pang of jealousy just drains his energy more thoroughly.

The door creaks open, and he spares it a glance before angling himself away from it. Byakuran. Unexpected, perhaps, and yet...

"Tsuna, have you eaten?" The familiar voice and even more familiar language makes Tsuna relax his shoulders for a few seconds.

"N-no... Not yet..." Not today.

"Awh, but isn't this the third day in a row?"

"Well..." He doesn't want to say it's Byakuran's fault, because it's more Tsuna's stubborn hope than anything that he's starving like this, but.

"Do you want these?" A shopping bag is thrust in front of his face, and Tsuna leans back too quick- only to feel a hand steadying him. Byakuran sets them down in front of him, circling around so he's standing just in front of Tsuna's line of sight. "I don't want them at all. It's super creepy, eating something someone you don't know made, isn't it? If you don't want them, I guess I'll throw them out."

Tsuna stares at him with horrified eyes as he continued to ramble on. "I'm just no good with most people, you know? You're made of tougher stuff to be able to put up with them every day..." Swallowing, he looked at the bag of treats- he smelled sweet cream, and chocolate, and maybe even a sandwich in there. Shaking his head, cheeks flushed with shame, he pushed the bag away and stood up furiously.

"If you don't want them, don't take them! And don't call something someone took the time to make just for you creepy!" Biting his lip, he gave the bag one last glance before turning around. Once again, he missed Byakuran's too curious gaze following him. "I-if you don't like it, stop catering to them! Go back to how you were if you hate it so much!"

"Wait a second, Tsuna," Wrist snagged in Byakuran's firm grip, Tsuna turned to angle himself so Byakuran couldn't see the tears in his eyes as he was pulled to face him.

"What do you want?!"

"Why are you mad at me?" Staring dumbfound at Byakuran, he unconsciously allowed him to steer him closer. "Aren't you the one who asked me to change? Didn't you say it was for my sake?"

"That's right." It was hardly a whisper from his lips.

'Not for my own,' Tsuna thought weakly. He still would have done this the same, even knowing what he knew now. Byakuran had looked so lonely. Had looked like Tsuna had, once, and now again. Breaking his hand away, he turned around and grabbed his now too heavy bag, leaving the one full of goodies alone as he stomped away.

"What about class Tsuna-?"

"I'm going home early. Go back to your desk, Byakuran." Rushing down the stairs, it was a miracle he'd caught himself each time he tripped. His face burned scarlet with shame. Byakuran had to think he was a petty, jealous little brat. Just like those boys before. He wouldn't have been wrong.

Reaching his locker, he unlocked it mechanically before staring at the empty space where his regular uniform had been.

"My clothes aren't here? But..." The words came out too loud. Something behind his eyes throbbed painfully, and he raised a hand slowly to cover his eyes. Again. Not... Please not again... Why would someone steal his uniform here?

Faintly, he heard chatter at the end of the hall, walking away from him. Sinking to his knees, a cold sweat broke out on his skin. Everything was going wrong again. He was hungry, his clothes were gone, he felt terrible- it was just like back home.

"Tsuna!" He'd told Byakuran not to follow him. What was he doing here? "What's wrong?" There was an arm wrapped around his shoulders, a hand holding one of his own. Was it shaking, or was he the one shaking?

"It feels bad," And even his voice is shaky, so it had to be him then.

"I'll take you to the nurse-"

"No," He pleads, "Not there, I don't want-" A cough interrupted him. Swallowing, he goes on, "To be here anymore." And the world faded out.

o~o~o

Tsuna wakes by tumbling off a bed and onto a carpeted floor. He's wrapped in a very fluffy comforter that is the lightest shade of purple he's ever seen. Somebody flips on a light switch and he groans, instinctively burying his head beneath the covers still wrapped around him.

"Tsuna, are you awake now?"

"...Nngh." Lifting himself up, he felt his arms wobble slightly. Leaning against the wall felt refreshingly cool. Dragging his knees close, he eyed Byakuran as he opened a mini fridge and unearthed a bottle of ginger ale. Oh, he should have known.

"Y'know, it's a good thing I live so close to the school." Wandering over to sit on the bed next to Tsuna, Byakuran continued, "Low blood sugar is dangerous. Should I call the school to let them know why you're gone?"

"That's okay... I doubt anyone cares anyway." Gently accepting the bottle was easy. Opening the bottle was... less so. He just couldn't grip the cap well enough.

"Oh, that's just not true." Byakuran swiped the bottle away from him and twisted it open in one fluid motion. Accepting the proffered bottle, Tsuna pouted.

"Yes it is." Raising the bottle to his lips in hope of a moment of quiet, Tsuna relaxed as he swallowed small mouthfuls of the cool drink. Part of him wondered why Byakuran had such a small bottle of Tsuna's favorite soda.

Byakuran leaned back against the wall and waited for him to finish the drink in silence. When half of it was gone, Tsuna screwed the cap back on with more force than was probably necessary. Byakuran remained quiet.

"...I was bullied back in Japan." This was just a release. Byakuran was just a convenient outlet to tell this, because he'd never tell anyone else. "Towards the end, I wasn't beaten anymore. And that was somehow worse, I think, to be ignored except when my things were stolen. My shoes, my gym uniform, even my lunch was taken without a word..." Byakuran had situated himself in front of Tsuna by then, gazing intently at him. "It was like being a ghost."

Byakuran offered him the drink again, cap off. Taking a swallow, Tsuna held it between both hands.

"Since I moved here, I thought maybe I could start over. No one knew Dame Tsuna here. I could be better. I swore it." Stretching out his legs a bit, his eyes swiveled around the room while avoid Byakuran's gaze. "But I don't know how to make friends, even now. I just knew how to go along with what I was told, and how to escape in a book. So at first I was alone again."

"Girls started to call out to me if I was alone, here. It's just like being a cheap little toy I think. I know that, but it was okay as long as I wasn't alone." His breath hitches as he said that last word, tightening his grip around the plastic bottle. Hunching over the bottle, his vision blurred. "Even if I thought that, because of you... I'm alone again." A tear dropped down, and then another. They rolled off the bottle and onto his hands. Scrubbing uselessly at his eyes with a loose sleeve, Tsuna let out a broken sob.

"Even though I thought you were like how I used to be, you stole where I had managed to fit in. So please don't say you don't need it as if it's nothing when it was everything to me." Finally giving up on drying his tears, Tsuna laid his hand back down on the blanket and closed his eyes. Something brushed against his pinkie.

The bottle was snatched away from him, and before he could react, Byakuran was grasping his wet hand and gently tilting his head back with the other, placing a gentle peck upon Tsuna's lips.

"Uh-!" But Byakuran was already backing off, eyes half lidded and curious. Lifting his free hand to his lips, Tsuna shook.

"Tsuna," Thumb gently brushing tears away, Byakuran's tone was as curious as his amethyst eyes. "Are you lonely?"

But he didn't give Tsuna a chance to answer, pressing their lips together firmer than last time. Tsuna couldn't help the noises that come out of his mouth and reddens. Taking advantage, Byakuran slipped his tongue into Tsuna's mouth. It felt weird, to have it prod the roof of his mouth, press against his own tongue insistently. It was dizzying. It was... And then it was over, both of Byakuran's hands now framing Tsuna's face.

"Y-yes," With a new batch of tears Tsuna confessed, recalling the question distantly. "Yes, I'm so lonely. I-" Sniffling, he leaned forward to rest on Byakuran's shoulder to hide his face and clutches at his back. "Don't want to be alone anymore. It hurts." A hand drifts up Tsuna's back, coming to rest in the fluffy mass of his hair. He could feel Byakuran's cheek pressed against his head, voice softer than usual.

"What do you want me to do, Tsuna?"

"I want you..." And without much thought, Tsuna's hand is clutched the front of Byakuran's uniform as he lets the thoughts swirling through his head settle. "To stay with me."

He can't see Byakuran's face yet, but he'd lowered down onto the mattress, and part of him knows what's coming. It's somehow hysterical this was going to be his first time, in a little apartment near his school, with a boy who had taken the place he'd so desperately carved out for his own. This shouldn't be happening.

The clothes mostly fall away without Tsuna's notice, just letting himself feel flesh against flesh, flickering heat growing between their bodies as he kept his eyes closed. Something bright orange. So he stays.

The preparation drives Tsuna a bit crazy. Byakuran has hands everywhere, testing new ways to make Tsuna moan and groan in pleasure just this side of too-much-now-its-just-pain. Then he rubs a wet finger on Tsuna's asshole and he hiccups, because even when he knows how this works it's still scary.

"It's going to feel great soon," Byakuran insists before latching onto the side of his neck and sucking, distracting him before pressing a long finger in bit by bit. They breathe together for a bit, and then Byakuran brushes against something with a crook of his finger, and Tsuna arches into him. Yes, yes, what was that, oh my god, was that his prostate?

Byakuran slips another finger in while he's still reeling at the new sensation, and he chews on his lips at the now forceful stretch. They continue like that, Byakuran slowly stretching him out until he's loose and soft against three squirming fingers and Tsuna hesitantly pushing back in hopes one of them will hit his prostate again.

His shirt is unbuttoned and he still has socks on, but Byakuran is holding on of his legs open as he eases into Tsuna. With the other lotion covered hand he too gently pulls his up and down Tsuna's erection. It's enough to make him start crying again because he wants. He wants-

"Don't cry," Byakuran cooed, leaning in close and tightening his grip when Tsuna makes a louder gasp of want. His breath is warm and loud enough to be heard as he mouths against Tsuna's ear. The wet and warm slide of his tongue around the edge is weird enough to make Tsuna make another noise that makes Byakuran grasp him firmer. "What else should I do for you?"

"A-ah," And here he opens his eyes, because he wants Byakuran to see how much he means this, how much he wants this. "M-my name." Flushing brighter, he suddenly regrets meeting his eyes and covers his face with his arms. "Please, say my nah-aME," He chokes on that last word because Byakuran slams in for the first time and there's stars against his eyelids when he blinks.

"Tsuna," Byakuran breathes, hands planting themselves on either side of Tsuna's head. Tsuna whines a bit at the loss of friction, but a new thrust makes him moan again. "Tsunayoshi, I'm sorry." A hand slides under his shoulders, lifting him up just enough that Byakuran doesn't have to lean all the way over to swallow a moan. "I want to make you mine, no matter what." They're kissing again, and Tsuna doesn't seem to be comprehending anything he says except Tsuna's name. "Even if I have to take advantage of your weakness, I will. Tsuna."

Tsuna's orgasm comes with that last utterance of his name, and his hips grind back. Byakuran hisses, his own hips stuttering forward as he quickly follows suit.

o~o~o

The bed has been remade, Tsuna has a new set of comfortable clothes that's a size or two bigger than it should be courtesy of Byakuran, and he's got his face pressed to a pillow on his knees. His mind is tumbling the fact that he just did it around and around, and Tsuna can't help the flush on his cheeks.

What were they thinking?

Thinking back to the way Byakuran called his name, he swallowed.

'That was the first time anyone's called my name like that,' Tsuna can't help but think. Staring blindly forward, he hugs the pillow tighter as the blush fades from his cheeks. 'Yeah... It was nice.'

"Tsuna, aren't you hungry?" Ah. Byakuran eased the door open, a tray with some warm drinks and food in his hands. "I've gotten a snack while we wait for delivery. I hope you don't mind pizza."

"D-don't call me by my name!" The blush came back full force then, and Tsuna hunched further in on himself in embarrassment.

"But you asked me to, didn't you?"

"...You're not wrong, but." But it was so! Tsuna tried to calm down as Byakuran set down the tray on a small table he hadn't noticed before. It felt familiar.

"I put your uniform in the wash, so you should stay the night."

"I can do that as long as you sleep on the floor." A brilliant smile lit Byakuran's face, and Tsuna opening gawked at it. Were there sparkles? Really?

"That's fine! I can't believe we'll get to walk to school together. It's like a dream!"

"That's embarrassing, Byakuran..." Sliding off the bed, he settled in front of the table with the pillow under him.

"Well, it's just that you've always been surrounded. I've never had a real chance to be with you like this before. So I've always kinda thought they were... in the way."

Tsuna watches him peel into an apple, skinning it effortlessly, and the sink the knife into the flesh with a thunk against the wood of the table. With a light tone, he talked of how he's taken care of everything; the clothes are in the wash, food was ordered in but here's an apple just in case Tsuna gets hungry, and those pesky girls that have been coming between you two aren't a problem anymore.

"I told the girls you needed some time alone, you see." Pulling the knife back up, Byakuran admired the way it gleamed in the shifting light.

"Huh?" Tsuna froze. Did that mean-?

"Oh, did you think they'd shifted their interest to me so suddenly? It's wasn't quite like that." Going back to chopping up the apple, Byakuran hummed cheerfully. "The girls asked about you quite a bit, but I just told them you needed some space because you were feeling overwhelmed. I even threw away all the presents they asked me to hand over! I'm sorry about tricking you, but," He raised the knife again, a wicked smirk curling his lips up, "This means we're going to have a happy ending, right? You've started to like me back, haven't you?"

"W-whoa! Put the knife down, I don't know what you're saying!"

"What I'm saying is that you're popular as ever. No need to worry."

"But someone threw away my uniform and my shoes. Surely they must hate me!"

"Aah, that." Byakuran reached for his school bag, unlatching the buckles without looking. Pulling out a full uniform, he showed it off. "It was me. You don't have any close friends, you see, so I thought you might depend on me if you were troubled. So I stole them!" Tsuna swallowed, staring as Byakuran held the uniform close and smiled. "But really, I just wanted something of yours."

Leaning back, Tsuna's breath hitched and he glanced around. This was bad, something insisted. This was really, really bad.

"I never thought you would come back home with me, nor did I imagine you'd let me touch you wherever I wanted like that, I'm so happy."

"Byakuran, what are you say..." His back hit the bookshelf, and a file slid to the floor, spilling pictures everywhere. Lifting a hand, Tsuna glanced down and froze.

"Is it true you were bullied towards the end of your life in Japan? Are you sure it wasn't that you were so adorable, that they didn't know how to approach you after how they'd treated you before? I wanted your gym uniform too, you see..."

Shaking hand reaching out for a picture, he couldn't help but notice they all were of him. Eating, reading, staring out the window in class, doing homework, receiving a gift...

His hand was seized by Byakuran, and he whipped his head around to meet Byakuran's gaze.

"I just had a great idea, Tsuna!"

"I- uh?" He couldn't scoot back anymore. Staring fearfully into Byakuran's eyes, he felt his hands start to shake. Byakuran squeezed his hand gently in a mockup of reassurance.

"You should start bring your stuff over here, bit by bit." Crap. "You get lonely easily, so from now on, I'll always be with you and I'll do anything for you!" Is... Is Byakuran possibly... "Even if you come to hate me, Tsuna, I still will." Possibly dangerous?

"Don't worry about a thing, Tsuna. I'm here for you, so there's no need to cry about being unable to make friends." What should he do? There didn't seem to be a way out of this situation. "I'll give you lots of love! Until death do us part~" But...

So many things he meant didn't sound that bad, except the way he phrased them. Swallowing, Tsuna felt his eyes widen. It couldn't be so bad not being alone... could it?

"Okay!"

"Well, I'm going to tell all the girls that you're mine now." Byakuran pulled a phone out of seemingly nowhere, and Tsuna choked.

"Stop it!"


End file.
